what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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