listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
