she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
