It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
