so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
