HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
