okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Everclear isn't food dammit
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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