THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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