Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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