is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
