HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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