just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
