i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I'm really busy with my period
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