She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
