While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
