I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
