she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize