That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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