good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
