In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
