I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It was confusing and full of hummus
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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