real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
okay pat passed out under dana's car
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
