can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
