My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
