Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
