I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
