I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
