Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So much rum. So many feels.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
