He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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