I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
