only if we run a train.
done.
the day after is always just damage control
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize