you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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