Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
