And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
