anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
