I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
