he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize