At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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