escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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