Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
