you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
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