Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
