I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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