she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
