please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
