I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There's always time for handjobs
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize