margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
