piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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