did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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