Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
