i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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