I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
