those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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