You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
