I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
