My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize