i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm just crazy horny about you
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
