yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
