Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Randomize
