sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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