If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
