well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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