so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
