That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i love accidental penises.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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