You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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