I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Did I show you my penis last night?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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